Updated: Jan 13, 2019

Regrets in life are common.

Live life so you do not regret the ordinary things that you could have done.

Do the ordinary things in life so well that it makes you extraordinary. Here is a true and inspiring story of a person. One lesson I have learned from him is not to live life with perfection but to the 'fullest’ of your heart.

At the age of 80, he thrives to string together regular, ordinary days of life in an extraordinary way. He loves his family in a compassionate and respectful manner. He shows dignity and respect to his wife. He smiles at everyone and makes them believe that they are special. This elderly gentleman tells great stories with the intention of teaching his listeners to live life to the fullest. However, he is always opinionated on his perceptions of injustice. He is not perfect; he is an ordinary person who taught me to live life to the fullest, which can be achieved by stringing ordinary deeds in life together. He is my adorable grandfather.

I performed this literature search on regrets and how common it is amongst women.

Researchers focused on three kinds of regrets:

1) Who we think we are and regret that we have lost our identity (traits or qualities we possess called Ideal Self)

2) We regret not being who we think we should be (traits or qualities we think we should have)

3) Regret about our goals and/or dreams that we should have acquired. (Self Dream or Goal)

Research says 72 percent of people regret not reaching their ‘Ideal Self’ or losing their self-identity. Do not sell or give up your ‘Ideal Self’. This is more precious than chasing your dreams.

Here is what a hospice nurse discovered from her terminally ill patients about regrets. She kept lists of their most glaring regrets.

Over the years, she found that the most common were:

'I wish I had not worried so much.'

'I wish I had focused on being happier.'

'I wish I had not worked so hard.'

'I wish I had lived the life I wanted to live.'

'I wish I had stayed in touch with friends and family.'

Deep, long-term regrets often come from ordinary things in life that we wanted to do but did not.

Do not lead the life expected by others. Don’t forget to enjoy life’s simple pleasures, which can be a cup of coffee with a friend or taking your dog for a long walk.

Perhaps Eckhart Tolle says it best, “When you lose touch with yourself, you lose yourself in the world.” Have you ever heard a woman saying, “I have given up parts of myself in my marriage"? This means that she has lost her self-identity, which is her biggest regret in life. No one should tell you to stop doing the things that you enjoy the most. The simple rule of thumb to keep in mind is to master all the courage you can in order to keep your self-identity intact. Always fulfill your goals to achieve the ordinary things, so you feel that you have done the best you can in life. Do not let any regret demoralize you. This is a wake-up call for all women not to give up their self-identity.



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